I woke up with the tendrils of a dream steadily dissipating. A girl's voice kept telling me to not worry and soon that was gone. I didn't want to open my eyes, but the curiosity or where I was finally got to me. Plus someone kept breathing something rancid in my face.

I opened my eyes and was met with Nick's face about an inch away from mine. Anything that close this early would freak me out, but I think Nick had eaten some fish enchiladas or something because it was absolutely nasty. I tried to back away, but my body wouldn't cooperate. My legs and my right arm seemed to be unresponsive.

I turned my head around to see Faith, fast asleep on my arm. I tried to move, but her dead weight kept it steadily there. A look down at my legs confirmed that hers rested on mine and Nick's on hers.

With my free arm I gave myself some leverage and I pulled free of the tangle of bodies, waking them up in the process. Sitting there in the sand, my legs and arm began to tingle painfully. The pins and needles didn't subside for a long while but I dealt with it and stared into the embers of last night's fire.

The sky was still pale and everything was blue. It was that time right when night began to fade away and morning was late to arrive. Premorning. I was guessing it was 5 or so and I felt horrible.

"Dude, I only got one hour of sleep." complained Nick as he rubbed his eyes with one hand and helped himself up with the other.

"I got less than that." I said as I looked around. The huge bonfire hadn't gone out yet, and a few flames licked desperately as if they knew their time was limited. Faith crawled over to me and lay down again, her head on my leg.

"I was having a good dream." she pouted.

"So was I." I said dryly looking at the horizon. The mountains were silhouetted against the pastel sky, and a few clouds hovered lazily. It really was a beautiful time of day. Too bad it was placed so early. Nick wiped the crust from his eyes and glared at me.

"Did you have to wake up now? The Amish are still sleeping." he said sharply. I smiled and lay back into the sand.

"Just as well. We should start getting to school. Catch some breakfast on the way." He didn't argue and I lay there for a moment, pondering my next move. I could feel the grains of dirt that had smuggled themselves into my clothes irritate me every time I moved, and I made myself ignore the annoyance.

"It doesn't feel like the last day."

"Should it?" asked Nick as he stood up, regained his balance, and stretched. Faith didn't answer, but instead sat up and yawned. "It is entirely too early."

"I agree with you there." said Faith stretching from where she sat. I propped myself up on an elbow and stared into the distance for awhile before speaking.

"This is beautiful." I said quietly and they both turned to see what I was staring at. The desert seemed desolate and the brush held bits of trash here and there. The mountains were black against the backdrop of the sky and what few clouds there were seemed ominous. Nevermind. They seemed like they were trying to hard to be ominous. The whole scene was more serene than anything.

"Yeah. Too bad we barely noticed." said Faith as she stood up.

"At least we noticed." commented Nick, still staring at the horizon. "It looks like a music video."

"What?"

"Yeah. I think its a Madonna video."

"You watch entirely too much TV." I said as I tried to get up. I lost balance and plopped back down. Faith laughed and helped me up. "Man, TGIF. This lack of sleep has gotten to me nasty style."

"It's Wednesday." said Faith dryly.

"Is that right?" I said. We all walked a little ways past bodies passed out on the floor and a few who were smart enough to bring a blanket. They were littered everywhere and if it wasn't them we were tripping over, it was the bottles.

"Damn, this place looks like a landfill taken over by hippies and then sprayed with anesthesia." remarked Faith. Nick and I looked over the scene again, realizing that is exactly what it looked like.

"Faith, tell me something." said Nick as he surveyed the landscape. "Are you happy the way everything turned out? I mean, I know Robby is. And I'm not sure how I feel about everything, so how do you feel about it all?"

Faith looked at him, considering her answer and arranging her words. We reached a car sitting in the middle of the sand, dead. I jumped up on the hood and Faith followed as Nick leaned against it. It was placed perfectly to give us a view of the sunrise, and we all turned to it.

It wouldn't be for awhile, but the light was brilliant as it broke the horizon. The clouds seemed to ignite, and I found Faith's hand without looking.

"I wouldn't trade this moment for the world or Heaven." she said. Nick was satisfied with the answer and we all watched the dawn in silence. I couldn't recall the last time I'd seen something so beautiful. I took that back, though, as soon as I thought it. Xanetta with tears in her eyes was beautiful, and so was Ray as he wiped them away. I sighed and Faith gripped harder. "It'll all be alright, you know? I feel that right here in this moment, as long as anything is this beautiful, it'll all be okay."

"I don't feel like that." said Nick seriously. I looked over at him and he spoke without turning to us. "I know for a fact."

"See, Nick. I told you you had a poetic something or another in there somewhere." I said with a smile.

"I can state facts." replied Nick with a grin. "I'm logical like that. You have the poetic streak."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "Come on. Spit some poetry."

"Doth the sun not rise!" I yelled dramatically. A few sleeping bodies stirred and Nick giggled. Faith looked over at us, not knowing the inside joke. I looked over and tried to explain. "That's Nick's idea of poetry."

"Isn't that theatre?" she asked. Nick and I looked at her blankly and simultaneously started to laugh.

"You and your 'technicalities.'" said Nick doing those quotations in the air. We all laughed and I think the sleeping peoples around us were starting to get annoyed. We continued the conversation regardless and I think Faith raised her voice to spite them.

"You know, I was asked what I'd do if the world was ending, and I said I'd either cry uncontrollably or laugh my ass off." said Faith, looking off into nowhere. "Turns out it spent exactly as I should have."

"And how's that?" I asked looking over at her. She kept staring at the sunrise but answered after a moment.

"Spent with people who care." That silenced us for a bit because I was never good at finding words after a deep thought and I was better at words than Nick.

"I'm glad then." I said. "I spent it right, too."

"I didn't. I hate you guys." said Nick with a mock serious face. I laughed and Faith tried to hold the seriousness for a moment longer, but failed and sputtered a laugh.

I think it hit me again what I was losing. I looked at Nick as he made funny faces and back at Faith as she returned them. And I smiled. Yeah, I was losing them. But they weren't lost yet.

"Whatcha thinkin'?" asked Faith as she leaned in smiling.

"That if a pretty girl like you ate flowers and farted, it might smell good." I said with a grin.

"Actually, a flower would not retain its alluring scent through the process of digestion which consists of-" Nick gave up halfway through and started laughing. Me and Faith bust out with giggles and someone sleeping a few yards away yelled at us to shut up. We just laughed harder and I think Faith purposely laughed raucously to annoy them. Which in turn made me laugh harder.

No, they weren't lost yet.

"What did you dream about?" I asked Faith.

"Oh, check this out." she said sitting Indian style and facing me. She took a breath before she started and took off on her story. "I was sitting there with me, having tea. Yeah, it was weird. And we were talking about how I hope for her, who was me, for her sake that there was a heaven. Because I couldn't stand it not to see Virgil and Renee. And she asked about you," she said looking at me. "And I said you were a good guy. And I told her you didn't believe in Heaven, and she smiled a sad smile. Well I did, but you get it. And she said something that kinda made me think."

Me and Nick stared intently at her as she told the story. She looked at me and continued softly.

"She said you better start believing in Heaven. Because you can't go somewhere you don't believe in and she'd hate to see someone so nice be stuck here after we leave." She paused. "She told me to tell you something. She said, "You've already been to Heaven. Why don't you believe in it?'"

"Yeah, Robby. What's the use of life without Heaven, anyway?" asked Nick. I looked over at him and considered my answer.

"The use is living like you could die at any moment."

"That's a horrible mentality." he replied.

"Don't question my philosophy." I said with a laugh. Faith didn't join in and I looked over at her.

"Robby, I believe in Heaven. Ray did, too. So did Oscar, Steph, and Xanetta. Tell me, what's the harm in believing?"

"I thought you didn't believe in Heaven."

"I didn't." You made me was implied. I gave her faith. I didn't keep any for myself. I sighed.

"I'll try." I said. She didn't seem satisfied and jumped off of the hood. The sun had risen above the horizon a bit and we all started to walk with Nick in the lead. I suppose we were going for his truck and we just made small talk along the way.

"El Paso has some good weather." observed Nick as he looked into the sky and scoped our surroundings.

"I was going to go to the Bahamas for Thanksgiving." said Faith, still in a sullen mood over our conversation. Or maybe my lack of faith.

"Isn't it monsoon or hurricane season then or something." asked Nick, dodging a body laying in the sand. Faith saw one too late and tripped as the body mumbled.

"Shut up. It would've been a nice holiday."

"Eating boar instead of turkey." I interjected.

"I'm sure they have turkey in the Bahamas." answered Faith. We came in sight of Nick's trucks and he started to walk to it. "I don't think I'm gonna go with you guys."

We all staggered in our steps and a moment passed in silence.

"Where you gonna go?" I asked, looking at her. I didn't want to leave her here. It felt like I was being abandoned from everyone that mattered. Left behind. I didn't want to let go anymore.

"I have some friends here. I don' wanna leave this place yet." Nick and I were about to argue, but decided against it. If she wanted to stay, we would let her.

"Hey, Nick. Get the truck and drive around that way. I'm gonna go get my car for her."

"You have a car?"

"Yeah, the one I was gonna steal."

"Tell me the story later."

"Okay." He started to walk off and tripped over a large man. the guy got up and Nick and him exchanged words, but Nick walked off to his truck with all his limbs. Me and Faith turned relieved and started trekking over bodies to get to Heaven.

"Robby. I don't wanna go to Heaven and not see you there." she said, resparking the conversation.

"Faith, don' worry about it." I said, trying to comfort her.

"Listen to me. We've lost people. Are you just going to accept they're gone forever?" I walked on without responding and she continued in a more snappish voice. "Are you going to accept that Ray and Nick and I are gone when we leave?"

"I don't know." I said not wanting to say yes.

"If there's not a heaven, what's the use?"

"I don't know. I hope to God there's a heaven for you and Ray and Oscar and Nick. And I hope Steph and Xanetta get in and everyone who's ever made me happy. But I don't believe there's a magical place we all go when we die!" I yelled back.

"Then I feel sorry for you." she said with a fixed jaw. "Heaven is not a magical place. Its the only thing I have left to hope for."

She continued to walk with a brisk step and I had to walk faster to keep up. I couldn't think of anything to say, and after a moment I decided to just speak hoping it came out right.

"If there is a heaven, and you get in, and I don't," I said in a pleading voice as I chose my words. "Will you argue for me. Can you go and talk to God and--"

"I planned to." she said simply. I nodded and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

"You said you told yourself in your dream I'd already been to Heaven. What do you think she meant by that?"

"Oh, that's an easy one." said Faith as we neared the car.

"Oh really? Then, when?"

"Have you ever seen something so beautiful you had a moment where you couldn't breathe. Has your heart ever jumped when you thought of someone? Have you ever seen that movie 'Donnie Darko' with someone that matters? That's Heaven, Robby. Its not a palace in the clouds. Its a few moments that made all this other crap worth it." said Faith as she sat on the hood of the car. "Heaven is just talking with someone that makes you happy."

"Heaven is wanting to cry because it feels so good."

"Heaven is accepting that not everything's bad." said Faith with finality. "How can you not believe in that?"

I stood silent and Faith opened her wallet and took out a dollar bill. She took the sunglasses hanging on her shirt's collar that I hadn't noticed until then and placed the two on the dashboard.

"Where'd you get the sunglasses?"

"Found 'em." she said. "I want you to have the note."

"The note?"

"The one I wrote on the dollar. I wrote it last night after you fell asleep. By the way, you snore."

"So I'm told."

"Hey Robby!" yelled Nick from behind me. I turned around and saw him waving maniacally. I yelled for him to hold on and turned back to Faith.

"Faith, you sure you don' wanna go with us?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say and finally I just hugged her.

"I'll miss you." The words just seemed so perfect and she hugged back tightly. I think she was crying, but I didn't want to let go to see. "Wait for me in Heaven."

"Do you believe in it now?"

"If its in all the beautiful things, then I'm hugging it right now." She laughed and I finally let go. She wiped her eye and I hugged her again.

"You should get going. Spending too much time on goodbyes is the worst thing you could do."

"How do you figure?"

"Because then you just remember the goodbye. I'd rather remember the times that made the goodbye hard than how hard the goodbye was." I smiled. The girl was wise.

"I'll miss you."

"I already miss you." I smiled and took one more look at her. Her green eyes that held so much. Her smile that made me smile by being in its presence. It was the thing that made me believe in the possibility of Heaven.

"Robby, come on!" yelled Nick. I turned around and flipped him off, telling him to hold on and quit yelling. He was waking up the neighbors. He flipped me off and laughed before turning back to his truck and getting in.

I turned around to nothing.

It took a moment to comprehend, and I looked around urgently to see where she went. But she was nowhere to be found and there was nowhere to hide. I fought back tears and tried to argue with myself as to what had happened. But there was no denying it.

She was gone.

I quickly grabbed the dollar and the sunglasses and ran to Nick's truck, but more importantly away from the spot where my Faith had been taken. Slamming the door when I got in, I slouched down and told Nick to drive. He asked where Faith was as he looked at the car and he was met with silence.

He didn't ask anymore.

***

We pulled into a roadside diner and got out of the truck in that tired way everyone does when planning to eat at a roadside diner.

"You ever noticed no one's really ecstatic when eating at a joint like this?" The whole trip here was taken in silence and his voice startled me into waking up. He looked at me with hopeful eyes, trying to get my mind to the conversation and off of Faith.

"Its a road side diner. Who would be overly excited?"

"Well, the food's decent. I mean, same thing with Denny's. I love their grand slam, but people just always look sad when eating there."

"Its the atmosphere of the place. It's full of truckers who've just driven for 10 hours straight, so their mood kinda pervades the whole place." I thought. He nodded, and we entered through the swinging glass door.

Generic music met my ear as did a low murmur of voices. After a moment to see if we were going to be seated, we were convinced we weren't and took a booth by the window. Nick immediately started looking at the menu and I considered it, but I would prolly eat whatever they recommended. My uncle Robert's words assaulted me out of nowhere, though, and I changed my mind. Never eat what they recommend. That's the food that's about to go bad and they need to get rid of it.

I reached in my pocket for the dollar and pulled it out inconspicuously. Nick never looked up from the menu trying to decide between the sunny side up eggs and sausage or the pancakes and I read the note. The whole note was in her elegant handwriting although the writing seemed rushed. It was a bit messy like she had scribbled it over her thigh when I was asleep.

Dear Robby,

I sat there rereading over her scribbled words and smiling while trying to fight tears. It never ends. I'm thankful for that.

I folded it up and leaned my head back, resting my eyes and listening to Nick debate with himself over the plain or blueberry pancakes. The air conditioner buzzed away and the pleasant conversations from the people around our booth annoyed the hell out of me. I was just so tired.

"Are you two ready to order?" asked an unfamiliar but pretty voice. I opened one eye and saw the waitress standing there with a notepad and pen. She was pretty with her brown hair tied back in a messy bun and a beauty mark on her left cheek. She wore the standard waitress uniform in a yellow shade and Nick told her his order. He had decided on the plain. "And you sir?"

"Give me," I considered how hungry I was and was surprised to find that my stomach had begun to eat my small intestine. "An order of sausages, two pancakes, banana if you have it, plain if you don't. And can I have a small cup of OJ and a hashbrown?"

"Yessir," she said writing furiously. We don' have small cups, just the standard size and we're runnin' low on OJ. And between you and me, its kinda stale now. Tastes a bit on the nasty side."

"Oh, thank you."

"Would you like some coffee? We have that just made."

"Yeah, I'll take one. You wan' one Nick?" He looked at me and I smiled. "My treat."

"Then yes." he said with a smile at the waitress.

"Ok, then. So, how do you boys like it?"

"Hard." said Nick.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean, with two creams please."

"I'll take mine black." I looked over at Nick. "I always wanted to try coffee black."

"I'll take mine black too." said Nick. She erased her previous order and corrected it.

"Thank you boys. My name's Robin Grey, by the way, but everyone jus' calls me Grey."

"Thank you, Grey. I'm Robby and this is Nick." He waved. She smiled and went off to get our order. "She's pretty."

"You think everyone's pretty."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"I don' think you're pretty."

"Yes you do."

"You caught me."

"I know." I looked out the window at the sky. It was still a shad of grey, but light had begun to invade by now. It wouldn't be long before the whole sky was lit. My mind tried to remember what I had imagined the end of the world would be like. I drew a blank. I guess I had never really thought about it, but in the back of my mind it had always seemed something glorious would happen. Like the sky would be on fire, but with heavenly golden fire, and angels would swoop down in platoons and formations and pick up the righteous.

I shook the image from my head and surveyed the sad faces of the diner. It wasn't the normal exhaustion you expect from truckers. It was defeat. It was all over, and they were helpless to stop it.

I looked at Nick and saw the same face. When he wasn't joking or smiling, he had an anxious expression. His eyes darted back and forth over the restaurant and I looked down sadly. It had effected all of us, regardless of our jokes and casual conversation.

The next few minutes went by in silence with me fiddling with my silverware and glancing out the window and Nick reading some kid's menu thing. He'd crack a smile every now and then as I watched the sky waiting for it to catch fire.

Grey returned with out food on a tray. After putting it all down and our thank yous met with her you're welcomes, I smiled at her.

"Would you want to take a break and have breakfast with us?" She looked at me and smiled.

"You treating?"

"Haha, yeah." I answered and then raised an eyebrow as she considered it.

"Yeah, what the hell. Why not?" She turned around and yelled at an older man behind the counter. "Charlie, I'm taking a break! Tell Tracy to get me a coffee, three creams, and an omelet or two!"

He was gonna yell at her to get back to work but just nodded instead and yelled at Tracy to get her her food. A little argument ensued and I laughed in response. Grey smiled and Nick watched on with a grin as Tracy walked behind the counter in a huff. She slapped Charlie and he just walked off with a pissed face and started making some food. Tracy apologized after a moment and took a tray to a table on the other side of the diner.

"They're always fighting. Don' worry about it." explained Grey in a dismissive voice. Nick and I nodded and the conversation continued.

"So, how old are you exactly?" asked Nick leaning forward to speak.

"You don't ask a girl that!" I said to Nick. He shrugged and she laughed.

"19." she answered. "You guys?"

"We're both 17." I answered.

"Damn. Still statutory." said Nick.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." he said quickly. "So, how's the old waitressing business. The oldest profession in the world."

"That's prostitution." she answered.

"What is?"

"The oldest profession in the world."

"Oh. I had no idea." he said with a smile. "Conversations seem weird now. Like someone's either close or impossible to reach now."

"The end of the world will do that to people." said Grey as they brought us three coffees.

"Oh, you noticed that too?" I said as I took a sip of my coffee. It hit me like an adrenaline injection to the heart and my eyes opened wide in shock. "Damn!"

"You like the coffee?" asked Grey with a smirk. I coughed a bit and nodded. Nick tried his curiously and had about the same reaction. Except he wheezed a bit.

"That feels like Satan pissed in my mouth. But it had a hint of hazelnut." he explained as he took deep breaths.

"We gave you a good brew."

"Is that a bit of honey?"

"I don' know. But I do love this particular brew. What do you think Robby?"

"I think Satan pissed in my mouth. But mine wasn't as hazelnutty as Nick would have you believe." They both laughed as I took a bite of hash brown to ease my tongues wails of anguish. "But overall, it was pretty good."

"Glad you two liked it. So, where you two headed?"

"School." answered Nick taking a small sip of his brew and hissing in reaction. I smiled and took a sip of mine, trying to look cool. After I was done hissing, I jumped back into the conversation.

"Grey, lemme ask you something. Do you believe in Heaven?"

"Yes." she answered with no hesitation. This had been getting to me, and the lack of faith was like a nagging tingle in the back of my mind.

"Why?" She looked over at me and considered her words. After a moment, she spoke.

"I can't imagine a God cruel enough to not let me see my family and friends again."

"What if fixed it by making sure you wouldn't care? Like not existing?"

"Maybe. But that doesn't sound like my God." she said. I nodded and Nick took over.

"Okay, let me ask you something." She looked over at him and he continued. "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"What?"

"A simple question, I am merely asking if you have ever even cons-"

"No." she said with a laugh. Then more seriously. "No."

"See? Was that so hard?" he asked. She flipped him off and he laughed. "What was that for?"

"Nick, that coffee got to you man." I said. He looked over at me and pointed an exaggerated shaky finger at me.

"Then why didn't it get to you?"

"I dunno. Higher tolerance?"

"Fair enough." he said with a grin. He turned back to Grey.

"I'm sorry. I apologize. But seriously, my question." She waited. I could tell Nick was about to crack another joke, but he stopped for a moment and just looked at her. He looked down and leaned back before looking up at her and calmly launching into his question. "Do you regret anything?"

"No. It all seems insignificant now." Nick nodded.

"When you get to Heaven, what's the first thing you're gonna do?" She seemed stunned by the question and smiled.

"Why, I'd cry."

"Why?" I asked. She looked over at me and answered in a clear voice.

"Because the people I left behind." Nick and I took a sip of our coffees and right then they came with our food. I dove into my food but Nick and Grey were a bit more elegant in their eating. We made small talk over our food and I realized that after an important point was made, instead of elaborating on it, we kinda moved on. I munched on the sausage and poured some syrup on my pancakes. They were banana. I was happy.

"Favorite football team?" asked Nick.

"Chiefs." she replied.

"Get out?"

"Nah, seriously."

"Get out! That's my team!" She laughed.

"Seriously!"

"No, seriously. Get out." said Nick in a cold voice. She stopped laughing and they stared at each other for a moment. Simultaneously they started cracking up and I laughed at them. "I so got you."

"You did not!"

"I did! And you know this!" They were louder than anyone else in the diner, but I think they're banter lightened the mood in the place a bit. Everyone else started to talk louder too.

"Okay, now you." said Nick. She thought about it.

"Favorite celebrity?"

"Oh, Paris Hilton. Hands down."

"What? Why?" She paused. "Never mind, don't tell me why."

He laughed. "Its because she's a very sweet girl who loves the country, just like me."

"She hated the country! Did you ever see the show?" Nick gasped.

"Damn advertisements and their lies!"

"Corporate America lies. Who knew?" Nick stuck his tongue out and she smiled.

"You know, for a 19-year-old, you don't act too mature." observed Nick. She flipped him off and he grinned.

"This coming from a perverted little punk-"

"Perverted little punk? Oh, I'll show you perverted-"

"See, there you go again with those-"

"Man, whatever. You're acting like a little kid-"

"Me? Oh, look at you and your pouty little face-"

"Guys, shut up!" I said with a laugh. "God damn."

"She started it." said Nick after a moment of silence and we all started laughing. Even the people from the next booths started to chuckle and I smiled. This was what it was all about. I smiled larger when Nick flung a piece of his pancake at Grey. She gave him a glare and he laughed and kept eating.

"Okay. Now, tell me something." I looked over at her and chewed slowly, waiting for her answer. Nick leaned forward and entwined his fingers together in like a psychologist. Like he was praying. "If the world is ending, and we all have limited time, what are you still doing here? I mean, I'm pretty sure you've already talked about love, and debated morals, and questioned faith. You've probably talked openly about sex and made your goodbyes. Well, at least some of them. You've undoubtedly matured in the last day or so. I'd bet you've talked and argued about social issues that won't matter in a week and exchanged perspectives. So, what're you still doing here?"

"You mean, alive?" asked Nick.

"No, I mean at this diner in the desert surrounded by truckers who have cargoes that are never going to get to their destinations and people who are almost too tired to be concerned with Armageddon."

"Rapture." I said. "This is Rapture."

"Regardless, I have nothing more to offer you."

"Pleasant conversation?" asked Nick.

"Time is of the essence." she said simply and got up. She took her coffee and left her plate. "But before I go, what've you learned?"

"Just now?"

"No, overall." Nick and I looked at each other for a bit before answering.

"I don' know about Robby, but I've learned a lot. I've learned that I've had everything I wanted all along, and now its being taken away from me. But instead of being angry or regretful, I feel lucky." He paused to think about it. "I guess 'cause everyone's losing it. But yeah, that's what I've learned."

"And you?" she asked looking at me. I shrugged.

"I've learned a lot. Too much to explain right now as you're leaving us." She nodded.

"That's good, then." I nodded slowly and asked her what she'd learned. She smiled an almost sad smile and answered slowly. "I've learned that it's never the end until it actually ends. No use givin' up early in the fight, even if you're goin' to lose."

She winked and walked off. Nick and I waved slightly at her and tended to our coffees in silence. My food didn't look too appealing anymore and Nick didn't really touch his. Our good mood seemed to die away as soon as she left. I glanced at my watch and back at Nick.

"We should get going, man. School's gonna start soon." He nodded and we got up from the booth. I fished on of the hundreds out of my wallet and dropped it on the table. Nick folded it and put it under his coffee cup before we left. I snuck a glance back at Grey as she served a trucker sitting alone at a booth in the corner. She looked up and smiled, and that was the last I saw of her.

We walked to his truck and got in quietly. A turn of his key, and we were off, the landscape speeding by the truck. I felt like the truck stayed completely still, and the world just passed us by. And I was fine with the world throwing itself behind me.

I watched underbrush and desert give way to civilization and suburbia. Where once there was sparse habitation that consisted of a ranch and a diner, now there were neighborhoods and fast food joints. The sun had risen above the horizon but was eclipsed by the mountains to some extent. I guessed it was about 7:30 or so but didn't look at my watch. It didn't matter much.

Our school emerged from the tangle of concrete and brick. It sat on a hill with lush grass and the pink stone stood out beautifully against the sunset. The sun had almost broken free of the mountains now and Nick pulled into the parking lot. Less than a dozen cars filled the lot, but I'd never been here this early. Maybe it didn't populate until about the time I got there.

But the aura of the place told me that wasn't the reason. It felt... dead. Abandoned.

Nick got one of the better parking lot and we got out without a word. The slam of the door echoed on the still air and we stood for a while until we were sure nothing else would make a sound. With the clicks of our heels accompanying us, we made our way to the main building. Where the courtyard had once seemed and academic haven, what with the wall of glass to the library and the gentle slopes of the landscape, now it seemed barren and cold.

We got to the double glass doors and I tried one just to find it locked. Nick tried another and the third and fourth until finally we were convinced the school was locked. A look at my watch informed me it was 7:34. Usually the school would be open by now.

Unless there was no one to open it. I sighed and shaded my face to the window to see better. Light splashed onto the floor through the upstairs windows and dust motes drifted lazily here and there. There on the bench in the main rotunda sat a girl, sobbing into her hands. She looked to be about our age, and pretty at that. I couldn't figure out how she got in, but I noticed the broken shards jaggedly sticking out from the border of the door on the other side of the building. The girl was bleeding from lacerations on her arms and a blood stain soaked her pant leg.

I looked away slowly and backed away until the light reflected off the glass and I couldn't see her anymore. Nick was about to look in but decided against it and we went to go sit on the small wall that held in the mulch of the school's gardens. We sat not saying a word for a bit, and he finally spoke.

"Robby., we don' time so I'm not gonna bullshit here. You have to believe in Heaven." I looked at him sadly and shook my head. "Why in the hell not?"

"Nick, how do we know its not something our parents' parent's parents' so on and so forth made up so we would be good and try to be good people." Nick sat silent. "Maybe being good was heaven enough. Maybe... maybe we do become nothing when we die. Maybe its all a lie, Nick."

"No. No, screw you." Said Nick getting up and pacing a few steps away. "If-"

He gave up and walked a few steps away but returned a moment later, raising his voice to exclaim his point. "Robby. If there is no Heaven, there is no point."

"Dude, this is the point. Life. This is life, man. This is enough. I don' need a heaven to look forward to. That cheapens life."

"No! That's where you're wrong. Don't you see? This doesn't have to end, man. But it will if you let it. You can hold onto this, we just got to get to Heaven. Then we-"

"Then we what? Pretend to live our lives still when there's nothing that makes it worth it. No danger, no threat, no sadness, just eternal happiness and god damned bliss? It all sounds nice and dandy, but that's not how it works, man! There is no way that can happen."

"And why not?" I stood silent. "Because your God's not kind enough? Because that's too unrealistic? Yeah, maybe its not a palace in the clouds with angel guards and streets of gold, but its enough Robby. Its enough to see you and my mom and my dad and my brothers again. That's heaven enough."

I stood there as he pleaded. Almost believing. Wanting to with all my being.

"Robby, if there's no Heaven," I looked down and closed my eyes as he spoke to me. The morning air was cool and his words met my ears clearly. "If there's nothing to go on to, life simply wasn't worth it. I've made too many mistakes and invested too much time for it to amount to nothing but a grave and people forgetting me. It would mean that everything I've ever worked for or hoped for... or fought for, it all meant nothing. Who would let that happen, man? What kind of God would let us fail like that?"

"I don't know." I said. Not my God. No, not my God.

I sat there and let the silence engulf me. I imagined I could hear the girl sobbing through the thick panes of glass, but I knew I couldn't. I thought I could hear Nick's heartbeat, but it was the blood pumping in my ears. I thought I could hear the wind, but it was nothing. A silent breeze and nothing more.

I looked up to tell Nick he was right. That there had to be a heaven. I still didn't believe it, but I was trying. I wanted to, and maybe that was enough. Maybe God would take that into consideration. Maybe...

But there was no one there. I sat there silent for a bit before closing my eyes a letting a tear escape. What kind of God would let this happen? I don't know. Who would let this happen? My God. My God had let this happen.

I wanted to believe in Heaven so badly. I wanted to believe that Nick and Steph and Ray and Xanetta and Faith and Oscar and Hope and Gunner and Xiao and...

I wanted to believe.

They were all gone. The sunrise was so beautiful and the breeze was just perfect. I felt like I had made a mistake and gripped this life too tightly, but I wanted to let go. I bowed my head and prayed in silence as more and more tears fell down my cheeks.

Dear God,

It really was a beautiful day. I could hear birds chirping and the warm sun massaged my back. The light wind met my skin with gentleness and even though my eyes were closed, I knew the landscape around me was lush and green.

I cried harder. Everything was gone now.

It had all ended.