As Oscar said it a few minutes later, the night was young.

Ray pulled out another ice chest with more drinks and we each took our picks. Faith took a bottle of Tequila Rose. I felt like a panzy with my Keystone.

"I got to go tinkle." said Oscar abruptly. He got up quickly and ran off into the desert to do his business and we all laughed as he almost tripped over some brush. The music still blared and occasionally people would walk by us and ask for a drink. We'd let them have one seeing as Ray had another cooler in his truck and the people usually seemed nice.

"Something's off about you, man." said Faith to Me. It was so out of the blue and blunt that I almost choked on my beer. He just laughed it off and leaned forward with a grin.

"Oh, it probably because I'm gay." he said simply.

"I knew it!" said Angeline jumping up. We all laughed and she sat down sheepishly.

"Man, your guys gaydar is weak." Ray scooted away dramatically in mock disgust and Me flipped him off but laughed.

"Man, so homosexuality? How's that working out for you?" asked Ray as he leaned his head on his hand.

"Oh, its a pain in the ass." A beat passed by and then everyone laughed and moaned in revulsion. Me smiled, pleased with the reactions and right then Oscar came back.

"What's so funny?" he asked confused. "And disgusting by the looks of it. Who farted?"

We all just laughed harder and Nick was practically rolling. When the laughs were finally dying down, Ray attempted to explain.

"Nah, it's because he's gay and-"

"Who is?" asked Oscar.

"Oh, Me." answered Nick. A moment passed by and his eyes widened when he realized what he'd just said. Oscar raised his eyebrows. "No, not me, Me. I mean, not me, it's-"

"Me." I said trying to explain. Everyone looked at me and a few giggled. Oscar raised his eyebrows higher. I tried pointing at Me and stuttered the next words. "No, Me! Not me. Like, you know-"

"Dude, Me." said Ray with a curse when he realized he'd fallen into the trap as well. "No, its his name."

"Who's named Gay?" asked Oscar. The whole group dissolved into uncontrollable laughter at this point and Oscar sat down confused. Finally Me cleared the confusion.

"No, I'm gay."

"Ah, how's that working out for you?" Everyone started to laugh again and Oscar just kinda gave up on trying to understand.

Laughter met my ears and I turned to see two people walk by our group merrily.

I took in as much detail as I could from one glance at them. The man looked to be about 25 and was heavy set. Well, he was obese, but he didn't look gross. He looked merry. He carried his weight well.

The girl looked to be about my age and would have been beautiful had her head not been completely bald. She was missing all hair, even her eyebrows. I was guessing chemo. But the thing that really caught my attention were their faces. But more specifically, their smiles.

They both donned a smile that made me smile in response. The most beautiful things I'd ever seen, those smiles. Its not that they were so magnificent in and of themselves, but its that they were enthusiastic. When these two smiled, they meant it. I wondered what could make them so happy, but Me beat me to the punch and asked.

"Why you guys so cheerful?" They both turned and looked at him with those splendid smiles of theirs. Ray offered them seats and they sat between Xanetta and Angeline.

"I have cancer." started the girl. "And now that the world's ending, I beat it. I won."

"And I don't have to see my cousin die." said the cheery man. He introduced himself as Troy and his cousin as Bea. Nick introduced us all in turn and everyone settled into conversation.

"What kind of cancer do you have, if you don't mind me asking." asked Faith curiously.

"Ah, no worries. I had Leukemia."

"Is it painful?" asked Angeline.

"Not so much. But the chemo makes you sick. And it kind of limits your hairstyle choices." That got some weak chuckles from us and she smiled broader in response. "Guys, don't be so prudish. Its over. I won."

I smiled and raised my bottle. She raised hers and Troy started to tell us about some people who were trying to start a fight by the stage we had come from.

"Yeah, I said something about the band not being the best-"

"You said they sucked." interrupted Bea.

"-and they got all offended. I think they were the roadies or something." said Troy without missing a beat. "But the singer came and broke it up. He said something about appreciating honesty and the guys just kinda backed off."

"Ah, we don' have to worry about fights. See, my buddy Ray's here 120 pounds of pure rippling muscle." I said with a grin as I patted him on the back.

"Yeah, but the thing is he weighs 170." said Oscar with a grin. Ray punched him on the arm and called him a skronny punk. I spit up my beer laughing.

"Well, you know you gain 30 pounds when you hit 18." said Troy patting his belly.

"Yeah, but my cousin here has turned 18 like three times now." said Bea. Everyone laughed and Troy called her a skronny punk, making me spit out my beer again and laughing so hard I almost ran out of breath.

Faith got up to get them some beers and Steph walked over to me. Everyone else was engrossed in a group discussion on music, so no one noticed as Steph and I walked to the Ray's truck and sat in the bed. We were only twenty feet from the group and we could still hear their conversation, but they were too into it to hear ours.

"What do you think of me, Chief?"

"Well, you're interesting."

"Good answer." she said and paused for a moment. "I mean to ask, do you think I'll make it into Heaven."

"Well, assuming there is a heaven, you're a shoo in." I answered with a smile.

"I still don't see how you can't believe in Heaven. What do you have to look forward to?"

"The absence of Hell."

"Good answer."

"I'm full of those."

"What's your Heaven, Chief?"

"I don't have one."

"Bullshit. What's your Heaven? What keeps you going?"

"My car." She glared at me and I sighed as I focused on a star. "I don't know. I honestly don't. What keeps me going?" she nodded. "Well, if you put it like that, then it's smoking with Amy in Dallas. It's taking shots with Ray. It's being in a car speeding with Oscar. My Heaven would be sitting here in a truck with you as Me rants about gay marriage and Ray tries to bring him back to the point at hand."

Steph laughed as we paid attention to Ray trying to get the conversation back to whether or not Archie Bunker was gay. Me took a gulp of his beer and said that President Bush should be ass raped. Steph and I laughed harder.

"Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I think they're getting drunk." I said as I took and finished off my keystone. I placed it next to some rope in Ray's truck bed and Steph looked over at me to continue the conversation.

"Then don't let anyone corrupt that, okay? When you get to Heaven, and they offer to let you forget all the sin and the hurt, you tell them that that's what made life worth it. You tell them and all those conceited angels that-"

"Okay, okay." I said with a smile, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Just don't let them deprive you of the bad." said Steph seriously. "Don't ever let anyone corrupt your Heaven."

"How do you know they'll do that?" I asked with a grin.

"I don't. But don't let anyone take this. Whatever you do, don't forget me. Don't let them take me away from you."

"Okay, but who would erase my memories of you?"

"I don't know. But I won't forget you. So don't forget me. Or Ray, or Oscar, or Nick or-" I nodded and she gathered her thoughts before continuing. "If you're right and we become nothing when we die, then so be it. But even if you're nothing, not even a collection of dust in outer space, you remember me. Remember me at the church where we first met and you helped me throw out trash. And remember Oscar winning that race. Remember Ray and Me arguing. Remember-"

She trailed off and looked me square in the eyes. Her eyes were a soft brown that invited trust. I nodded and saw tears begin to form.

"Promise me. Promise you won't forget." I nodded. "Promise me."

"I promise." A moment of silence descended on us and I suppose Ray and Me had reached an end to their argument. Now only a low murmur of conversation could be heard as the fire cackled between them.

"I promise I won't forget you, Chief." she said seriously. "Not even if I'm less than a dozen atoms floating independently through space."

And I believed her.

"Chief, this is Heaven." she said finally after looking at the group. Xanetta laughed at something Faith had said and Oscar pointed at her incredulously. I heard something like "That was so you!" and the group giggled. "It's all downhill from here."

I looked over at her and she seemed to be working her way through difficult thoughts. Returning my gaze back to the group, I saw Faith looking at us and raise an eyebrow questioningly. I winked at her and she rolled her eyes. Oscar saw this and moved between her and Me, slinging his arm over her shoulder. I laughed unbelievingly.

"What a cock blocker." I muttered under my breath. Steph smiled over at me and I grinned back. "Well, he is."

The last time you talk to someone is a beautiful thing. The sweet sorrow of it is as poetic as life gets. The departure sums up everything that person has ever meant to you in a few words and gestures.

I knew this was the end. I knew from the time I sat down on that piece of lumber half buried in the sand around that campfire. I knew when Steph greeted me with Me. I knew since I had saved Faith.

But its always hard to let go. I sat there and watched Meagan walk up to the group and talk to Nick and Angeline briefly. I guess she was Angeline's ride, because Nick kissed his girlfriend quickly and gave her a quick hug before she left with her friend. He sat down with a deflated look on his face and Xanetta slung an arm over his shoulder understandingly. After rubbing his back a bit she retracted it and fished around in her purse for something. She produced a couple of coins and gave one to Nick. With her remaining dime, she closed her eyes, muttered something and tossed it into the flames. Nick smiled and did the same.

Everyone else did the same and made their various wishes. I searched my pockets but had no loose change to my dismay. With a sigh, I watched Faith make her wish and grin as the flames engulfed her quarter.

Steph handed me a nickel and I smiled in gratitude. Looking over at her, I found she didn't have a coin and she just shrugged dismissively.

"But you're not gonna have a wish." I said reasonably, trying to hand over the coin. She shook her head and folded her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"Nah, its your wish now."

"Well then, I won't make one."

"Awful waste of my generosity." she said with a grin. I scowled and closed my eyes and made a wish after a moment, but instead of tossing it into the flames, I passed it to her. She wouldn't take it at first, but finally took it with a grudging hand.

"Now, make your half of the wish." She smiled in wonderment after a beat and closed her eyes. She kissed the image of Jefferson and tossed it over Ray's shoulder and into the licking flames. The silence was beautiful and fitting at that point and she leaned over to me keeping her eye on the flames.

"What'd you wish for?" she said, still leaning in. I leaned in towards her and grinned.

"I wished that no matter what, you get into Heaven. You, Ray, Nick, Oscar, and Xanetta." I said. I smiled. "Well, everyone here actually. What was your wish?"

"That yours would come true." she said with a grin. I laughed and gave her a tight hug. She returned it and we returned out attention to the group.

Me got up as did Troy and Bea. They all started their goodbyes as Me walked over to us. He gave Steph a tight hug without a word and shook my hand firmly.

"You know, for a straight boy, you have a weak grip." he said with a smirk. I flipped him off with my spare hand and laughed along with him as he walked off. The rest of the group shared their goodbye's with the departing trio, and soon the three were gone.

Another hour went by and the fire still burned away as did the conversations between them. Steph and I joined in occasionally from our perch on the truck bed. The moon shone its brightest and the stars seemed to exert some extra energy to light our night. The quantity of the dancers in the party that raged a few hundred feet away hadn't seemed to diminish at all even though my watch read 3:21.

Xanetta stood up at a lull in the conversation and walked over to us. She hugged Steph tightly for a moment and then looked at me with serious eyes.

"Take a walk with me."

I nodded and jumped off of the truck's tailgate with as much grace as I could muster. We walked some ways away from the truck and talked. The night was warm and flames danced everywhere I glanced. I sidestepped to avoid two people as they raced past me but the third one got me.

After regaining my balance, Xanetta broke the silence.

"This is the last time I'm ever going to see you." she said simply. I nodded slowly letting the meaning take effect. "I don't want any of this to be sugarcoated. You respect honesty, right?"

"Yeah, but damn, Xanetta. We already know this is the end, but do you have to-"

"Have to what? Tell you bluntly what you already know?" she asked and we walked a few paces in silence. "Robby, there's no room for denial. Do you think you can enjoy any of this if you forget for a moment that this is it? That this is the end?"

"Yes. I think its necessary to forget for a few moments here and there." I answered.

"No. Because then you're lying to yourself." I thought about that and she continued after we passed a man on stilts. "I know the world's ending. There is no doubt in my mind that this is Rapture, and I'm not gonna let myself believe for an instant it isn't. And I'm fine with it."

"Xanetta, I get it." I said. She looked over and smiled.

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"And what is it exactly that you get?"

"I finally figured it all out." I smiled as a couple walked by with their hands entwined. "I found that, you're right."

"About what?"

"The world is ending. Sugarcoating it and putting off acceptance is cowardly and stupid, but after I stopped lying to myself and I made myself see," I sighed and looked over at her. "I found that it's all going to be okay."

"Oh really? Do you have proof? Or does this little epiphany of yours depend on my trusting you?"

"No, you have to believe me on this." I said dismissive of her skepticism. "But it will all be okay. You can quote me on that later."

"Robby, there is no later. This is it. Don't you get that yet?"

"You don't believe in Heaven?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then if you get there, you live with the knowledge that I was right after all."

"I thought you didn't believe in the afterlife?"

"Well, if I'm right about that, then, what're you gonna do to me?"

She laughed and looked at me with one of those smiles that could mean anything. I never lost my grin and I found we had started to circle back to the group. She stopped me and turned me around to face her.

"Robby, this is it. I just wanted you to know that you've been a good friend, okay?"

"Thank you." I said realizing there was no way to stall this. This was the end of the line. "I wish you the best in everything, Zany."

"Don't call me that." she said, but with a smile. My eyes were starting to water up and I couldn't help thinking of everything I should tell her. Everything I wanted her to know, but none of the ideas would form themselves into words.

"Don't forget me." She didn't say anything, but I knew she would try not to.

"I hope you had the time of your life, Robby. Did you ever find peace?"

"I did."

"Really? When?"

"About an hour ago." She laughed in response and gave me a quick hug.

"Xanetta, thank you. For everything." My eyes were watering uncontrollably now and I had to wipe them to stop the tears.

"Don't be a panzy." she said with a smile. This was one of those moments that burned itself into my memories. Her smiling face with silhouetted against the huge bonfire. The music pulsed through the air and people walked by randomly.

And then she walked away. I stood there dumbly for a moment and called out after a moment.

"Is that the last thing you're going to say to me? Is that the note you're gonna leave on?" She stopped and turned a little to face me. She smiled a wry smile before answering. I could have sworn to my God that there were tears in her eyes, but maybe I was mistaken.

"Yeah, it is." And with that she walked away and out of my life. I stood there until I couldn't see her anymore and then I stood a while longer. I didn't know where to go, really and I just kind of stood there numb, not wanting to believe it.

The last time you see someone is a beautiful thing. A horrible, horrible thing of beauty. A beauty I could've lived without and I realized right then that as weak as we are, there's always a choice to go on.

I started to get feeling back in my legs and the numbness faded a bit. I sighed a little and looked once more in the direction she had disappeared to, hoping she would come back. After a moment, I realized she wasn't going to and decided it was time to go.

"Goodbye, Xanetta."

***

The walk back to the campfire was a long one. The distance itself wasn't lengthy but the thoughts that berated my thinking made me drag my steps and slow my pace. I passed a few happy faces and more than a few embracing tightly.

I doubt any of them could relate to my sorrow.

I made it to the campfire and sat on the truck heavily. My thoughts seemed to make my head heavy and I leaned it on Steph's shoulder. She didn't complain.

"Chief, it's a beautiful night." she said out of nowhere. I nodded and she continued. "Do you think God made it pretty to ease the pain?"

"No, I think he just wanted us to see what we were losing."

"I don't think he'd do that." I regretted my bitterness almost immediately and made a mental note to kill it.

"Steph, what's your best memory?"

"Sitting in a truck spending the end of the world with you. Yours?"

"Same." She nodded.

"One time when I was little, my mom told me that I could never ever see everything. That the world was just too big. That we've been here for thousands of years and still haven't discovered everything, so just be happy with the beauty I did see." She sighed. "I wish I would have gotten the chance at least."

I tried to find the words to ease her mind and I hugged her.

"Steph, when you're in Heaven looking down at all this, you'll get your chance." I said. "You'll see all the splendor and beauty and everything good."

"I thought you didn't believe in Heaven."

"I don't. But I'll believe it for you."

"Please do." I leaned my head on my hands and watched Ray and Nick converse about sports.

"Thank you for being good to me, Steph." I said after a moment.

"You're welcome." she said without missing a beat. I don't know how long we sat there, silent, listening to the fire burn and the muted hum of the music. The moon shone down on us and the breeze touched me softly. And time bid me farewell every minute as it left me for good.

"Don't you think its beautiful," started Steph. "When we've run out of things to say to each other."

I looked over at her and she stepped off of the truck gracefully. She was humming a lullabye that met my ears gently. She started to spin in slow circles, like you do when you try to get yourself dizzy, the whole time looking up into the sky. She began to sing then and her voice met my ears with clarity over the still, desert air.

"When the sky began to fall one day,

A few people ran to hide.

And when the stars began to die,

People shut themselves off inside.

And the clouds began to ignite,

And shed off a horrid light.

But you sat there and held my hand,

And told me it'd be alright."

I just watched her go, and I had a feeling she wanted me to follow her, but this moment right now was too wondrous to ruin. And she knew that. This was the perfect goodbye. Mid circle, she stopped and looked back at me from fifty feet away. She waved slightly with a sad smile. I blew a kiss at her from the truck and smiled although my eyes were watery. She caught it and put it in her pocket before slowly turning around and walking off into the night. I smiled as I watched her go.

She was definitely one of the most interesting people I'd ever met. I breathed in sadly and turned towards the group once more.

I felt like crying or going to sleep, and my body agreed on both counts. But I didn't and I sat and half listened to the group's conversation while I lost myself in my thoughts. I felt like getting up and running to find Xanetta or chasing Steph. But I didn't.

Nothing stopped me. Nothing made me sit there. But I did believe in fate. And I believed that this is exactly how it was supposed to be.

And I absolutely hated it.

To bring me back to reality, Ray stood up slowly with Liz and Oscar followed suite. I jumped off the truck and caught Ray's goodbye to Nick as Oscar spoke to Faith. Nick shook Liz's hand and then Ray's and right then I pulled Ray off to the side by his arm.

"Where are you going?" I asked sharply.

"I'm... leaving?" he said in a voice that sounded more like a question.

"Wait, you're leaving me? Ray, this is the last night I might ever see you. How can you-"

"Dude, calm down." he said. I took a breath and waited for him to go on. "Liz wants to go see her cousin so I'm gonna take her."

"Are you coming back?" Ray gave me a look and gave me a strong hug.

"Robby, I've spent the last 14 years of my life with you. Oscar knew us since we were like five, so that's what? 12 years?" I didn't want him to leave. He was the one who's been there for the majority of my life. He was the guy who I knew before I'd ever met my brother and sister. He was one of the only steady things in my life, ever. "Just let me spend the last night with Liz."

I hugged him tighter and a tear rolled down my cheek regardless of my greatest attempts to stop it. I finally let go of him but he kept an arm on my shoulder.

"There's nothing I could say to you you don't already know." I said. I wiped my eyes. "Listen to me, okay. When it all goes down, whatever happens, know that you were my best friend. No one can change that. Not even God can change that, okay?"

He nodded, and wiped his eye as well.

"Good bye Robby."

"Good bye Ray." He walked off hesitantly and said goodbye to Faith before walking to his truck. I fought my tears for all I was worth as I watched him walk away. Liz walked to the passenger side door and Oscar walked over to me. I embraced him tightly before he could say a word and he hugged back just as tight.

"So, the end of the world made you realize you want my body? I knew it would." I laughed and pulled away slowly. "Robby, you swear this is the last time you're gonna see me."

I looked at him to see if he was joking and after I was convinced he wasn't, I smiled in response.

"Oscar, after it ends, wherever you go-"

"Send you a postcard?"

"Shut up. Wherever you go, look for me okay?"

"I will, man."

"Do you promise?"

"Since when do I need to promise for you to know I'm going to do something?" I nodded and smiled.

"Fine. I'll see you then, then." He hugged me again and walked off to the truck. Ray gave me one last wave and they all got it. I don't think there was ever anything so painful as me having to watch those red lights on the back of that truck get smaller and smaller towards the horizon. After the lights were gone and the dust had settled, Faith and Nick walked up to me. Faith hugged me and I hugged her back tightly.

"Its all ending." I said as I buried my face in her shoulder. Nick patted my shoulder and they both just stayed silent. I really was thankful for that. Nothing they could say could make it better, so I was grateful for them not trying.

Nick started to walk back to the campfire which had began to die. He put a log into the flames and sat down heavily in the dirt. He put his leaned his head back and closed his eyes, thinking painful thoughts, I'm sure. I wanted to go talk to him, but decided against it. Faith pulled my arm and we began to walk towards the pulsing crowds, letting him sleep. The huge bonfire's light hit me again I could feel the energy off of the bodies.

"Faith, its all happening too fast."

"Did you think the world would end slower to accommodate you?"

"No, but... yeah, I did." I said after a moment. "I never knew it would end like this. I never knew I'd let go of five people in less than an hour. It just doesn't seem fair, now does it?"

"No, it doesn't." said Faith scanning the crowd. "Nothing ever does, though Robby. But I do believe that's the kind of attitude you talked me out of on the bridge where we first met."

"Touche."

"Robby, why're you so sad?"

"Two of my best friends have left and I'm never going to see them again! One's back at the campfire wanting to die and Xanetta, Steph, they're both gone and-"

"Those are some good reasons." she interrupted. "But not reason enough. Do you really believe you're never gonna see them again?"

"Yes."

"Then if you're right and there's nowhere to go from here, enjoy your memories now instead of bitching about them being gone." said Faith as she started to walk towards a DJ in the midst of huge gathering. I stopped her and turned her towards me. I had to raise my voice a little so she could hear, but we continued the conversation regardless.

"Faith, it's all ending. It has just hit me. The world is ending." I said with desperate eyes.

"I know." she said leaning in. I could feel her breath on my ear and her next words made me smile. "Kinda makes you wanna dance, doesn't it?"

I laughed and right then the DJ ended the song that was playing. He took the mic and addressed the crowd in a voice that seemed more like another sound effect rather than an accent. It was caressing at the same time it was loud enough to make my bones rattle with the vibrations.

"Peoples, get someone who matters to you. This song if for those who know what matters in life. Here ya go."

A techno slow song started to play with synth effects and cuts in the sound. I looked at Faith with a raised eyebrow as everyone started to dance around us. I laughed in wonder and she shrugged and donned her grin.

"A techno waltz?"

"Its the end of the world, Robby. Are you really going to question music at this point?" I laughed and put a hand on her hip as she placed one on my shoulder. Holding her other hand, we started to dance in a graceful circle as all of the ravers around us mirrored our movements. The music coursed through our veins and we danced faster and faster, never losing our grace or the beat.

I silently mouthed the words thank you to Faith and I didn't think she caught them, but after a moment, she smiled. Gripping my hand tighter, she mouthed the words It'll be okay.

I twirled her around quickly and pulled her close again. Yes, the world was ending. Yes, it would all be gone soon. Yes, I was unprepared. Yes, yes, yes, this was horrible.

And no, I couldn't stop smiling.