I was gonna put these jokes under kids, but we're not. Only some adults think so, so I'd like to take this time to say
that we're more mature, emotionally and overall, than a lot of you so called "adults." So say what you like, but we don't
become adults the moment we hit eighteen or twenty one. We are already adults long before then, but since you dumbasses are
the ones who make the rules, you don't give us any say in anything. So, all I'm saying is we're not kids. We're fuckin' adults
with no rights and none of the priveleges. Thank you.
Three girls are comparing their dream guy to a soft drink. The first girl, Asia, says: "I want mine to be 7up, because
seven days a week, I'm gonna keep him up."
The three girls all laugh and the second one, Roxxan, continues. "Well, mines gonna be Mountain Dew, because when
he's between my mountains, we're gonna be doing the dew all night long."
All three girls laugh, and the third, Kali, says "Mine's Jack Daniels."
"That's no fair. We're talking about soda pop, and your talking about a hard liquor." says Asia.
"Exactly."
Chris goes to his date's house. and while she's getting ready, he sits down in the room with her dad.
"Cindy will be here any minute." says the dad. Chris nods, and stays silent. Then he realizes he really needs
to fart. He lets it out slowly, barely audible and the dad yells out: "Charlie!"
Chris looks under the chair and sees a dog there. With a smile he realizes that the dad thinks that its coming
from the dog. With that knowledge, he lets out another small one. The dad once again yells: "Charlie!"
Chris, brimming with happiness that he got away with it, lets out a huge one that seems to shake the house. To
that, the dad says: "Charlie! Get out of there before Chris shits on you!"
Three people, a lawyer, a construction worker, and a terrorist are on a plane. The lawyer, frustrated with her work,
throws the suitcase out of the plane's window. The construction worker finds a brick in his suitcase and, having no idea why
its there, throws it out the window. The terrorist, having second thoughts, throws his outta the window.
On the ground, Laura is walking down a street and sees a kid crying holding a suitcase. When asked about it the
girl gave a weird story about a suitcase coming and hitting her on the head.
Laura contines down the street and finds a boy crying next to a pile of wood. When asked about it, he said that
he was building a dog house and a brick fell from above and destroyed it.
She continued down the street and found a boy laughing near a destroyed building. When asked about it, the boy
answered: "I was walking by, farted, and the damn building blew up!"
A boy, Eric, loves clowns more than anything else in life. Anything else and he has posters and cards and movies and
DVDs and Cds and. . . he really loves them, ok?
Well, one time, he goes to a circus in town. He's so excited and cant' wait. Finally, at the show, a little car
pulls up and 20 clowns pop out and a clown asks for a volunteer, and Eric raises his hand excitedly. And. . . the clown picked
him!
Eric rushes down and the clown asks him, "Are you the horse's ears? No. The mouth? No." then, with a malicious
glint in his eyes, the clown says, "Then you must be his ass!"
Everyone laughs and Eric runs to his parents crying, not believing that this clown could have done this to him.
He spends the rest of his life thinking of comebacks to what the clown had said. He graduates high school, goes to a good
college, marries and has a few kids, but he never forgets what the clown had said to him. Then, one fateful day, he sees an
ad in the paper about the same circus. He tells his wife he must go, and when the kids ask to go, he says no. He has business
of his own.
He goes to the circus. Then, a small car drives into the center, and 20 clowns pop out. Then, a clown asks for
volunteers. Its the same clown! The man sits silently and calmly raises his hand. And. . . the clown picks him!
He goes down to the center and stands beside the clown. The clown looks at him and asks, "Are you the horse's
ears? No. Then his mouth? No. Then you must be the horse's ass!"
The crowd laughs and laughs, and Eric knows its his moment of truth. All those years of practicing this moment
over and over in his head, this was the reality. All those sleepless nights, thinking about what he could've said in this
exact moment.
Eric looks right in the clown's eyes and says, "Fuck you, clown."
A girl, Stephanie, is on a ladder with six men and it flooding really bad below them. Suddenly, the ladder starts shaking
from all the weight and they all conclude that one person must jump off to save the rest. Stephanie, with a sigh says she
will. When asked why, she answered,
"Well, it would be a shame for all of you to die. You men are so resourceful and funny and sweet. You are so smart,
that to deprive the world of your intelligience would be a crime. A crime I could not live with in the least. To starve the
world of your presence and deny the masses your charm would be too much to deal with. I would be dead inside if I did any
of this, so I might as well die here."
The men, awed and proud, clap their hands a applaud the woman for her compliments, and unbalanced fall into the
ragin waters, leaving Stephanie to say, "Dumbasses."
